Light Shining in Darkness

The tragedy that occurred in Newtown, CT is devastating.  As I read about it, the whole thing seemed surreal and it just didn't make sense.  Such wickedness.  Is it really possible?  To even think of the poor families of those people who were brutally killed.  Ugh.  Makes me sick.

The same day it happened, I ended up taking Owen and Caelum to play at an elementary school playground.  The school is right next to Zach's workplace, so it has become a nice place for us to wait for him when we have the car.  As we pulled up, I thought, "What am I doing?  There could be a crazy copycat killing and here I am BRINGING my children here when they're not even in school yet."  Then reason came over me again and I started unloading the boys out of the car.  As I did, Owen said, "When I'm big, I'm going to go to school.  Like Katie and Emily did when we were in California.  When I'm four, I'm going to go to school."  We talked about that for a while and it freaked me out to think of him, vulnerable and young, sitting in a class with 25 other kids, completely entrusted to one or two other adults.  Yikes.  I know it works.  I'm the product of a public education and I do hope that one day Owen will get to experience it.  However, on 12/14/12, it didn't feel like a great time to picture him in that situation.

But the truth of the matter is, I don't get to decide what happens to my boys.  They might die a horrible death at a young age.  I will do everything in my power to protect them from any harm that I can, but I will fail.  They'll get hurt, be hurt, hurt others, and eventually die.  This is the reality of sin.  And we're excitedly bringing another child into this situation.  Why?  Because I know a loving Redeemer who is sovereign over all things.  Who creates, sustains, loves, and saves people, even as they sin.  So, I can entrust my kids to Him as I am given the gift of caring for them for a while.  What a blessing!

There is another tragedy that happened in our country on 12/14.  One that no one is talking about.  There's no news coverage of the 3,888 other kids who were murdered just as brutally on Friday. Are we really shocked that crazy people are willing to open fire on elementary school kids when there is such little value placed on human life?  Adam Lanza shot them.  Others choose cutting and vacuuming up the pieces.  Pick your poison.  Child-sacrifice is alive and well, though the sacrifices aren't to Molech anymore, but Greed, Pride, Fear of Man and Love of Self.  "They sacrificed their sons and their daughters to the demons; they poured out innocent blood, the blood of their sons and daughters, whom they sacrificed to the idols of Canaan, and the land was polluted with blood." Psalm 106:37-38.   It makes me pray all the more fervently, "Come, Lord Jesus, come."

I know, I know.  When I'm pregnant I'm a lot more sensitive about abortion.  Currently, there's a second little heartbeat in my body, and my hormone levels are off the charts.  But my God values human life and I am commanded to as well.  Thanks be to God that He chooses to forgive sinners like us who fail daily at obeying His commands.  Haven't I murdered in my heart?  Haven't I disdained God's creation in how I treat others?  Yes. Anathallo's reference of Romans 7:24 and William Carey's epitaph is too appropriate: "Oh wretched worm of a man that I am on thy kind arms I fall.  I'm just a man. I'm just a criminal."  All because of the Fall and our willfully choosing our way instead of God's, time and time again.  Because of the Fall, I find myself sinning each day.  Because of the Fall, popping this baby is going to hurt like crazy.  Because of the Fall, I know grace:

"No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him.  They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads.  There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever." Revelation 22:3-5


This Advent season brings such hope with it.  The amazing truth is that God allowed His son to be the sacrifice for us, the very people choosing to kill and destroy. He knew Christ would be brutally murdered, though completely innocent unlike our children, who are conceived in sin.  This was the only way to pay the price for the dark, ugly sin that we see everyday, whether on the news or in our own stupid hearts.  And we can rest in the knowledge that Christ's resurrection has made it possible for us to be made clean and enjoy eternity with Him: an eternity without abortion, school shootings, tears or any pain.

"All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.  In him was life, and the life was the light of men.  The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:3-5